Work and passion.
Dawn Notes no.8
There is always some light in the dark areas.
This morning has a pleasant chill in it. Yet I really didn't want to write today. I think because I became slightly overwhelmed on Friday, and didn't do much yesterday. But that is okay. I just feel like then this day is completely full. I just needed to let these thoughts sit for a moment. After work, it feels more manageable. I guess this is a common occurrence for me, in my life.
I was always super relaxed about any deadlines I had in school. Or even now in university. So, I became quite proficient in cramming right before a deadline or an exam, which is a useful skill for sure. But it is not nice to have my whole life depend on it. I have tried to have structure and planning in my life throughout the past years, but it never really clicked with me. As such, now, when I am trying to be on top of assignments and readings, and project work for my courses, I fell apart a little on Saturday.
The only thing that has usually worked is passion. If I have any type of passion for a project, homework, topic, course or anything, then I will dedicate time to it. For example, when I was first starting to make music on my computer, or later learning guitar, it was because I just had to, you know? It was the right thing to do, my passion dictated that. But now, or the past couple of years actually, I have had my passion shift toward other things, a lot of the time related to the university. The funny thing is that I wouldn't even call it passion in the moment, in the moment it feels like a responsibility. An example could be how I was campus elder. I didn't have an innate want to be one, but because of circumstances I made the decision to try, and when I was on the job, there was passion behind it. I think at least. I think I have a great passion for learning. Learning to do things, achieve things, but once I am past that I often stagnate or replace. Like with music.
That's some thoughts for you. If you want to share some of yours about this topic my email is always available.
See you tomorrow.